chigao blues
by lessa285
Summary: this is a hilareus story about a girl who is a vampire and dosn't know it. she dosn't fide out in the first chapter.


Chicago blues

this is the story that you read when you have absolutely nothing better to do. or if you are one of those wonderfully lucky people to have a drivers license, I can't wait to get mine.

I live in Chicago. well sort of, you see, I don't actually have a home. but I believe that's why they call it being homeless. who would have thought. I am 14, four eight, with ebony black hair, and gray blue eyes.

nothing special. except for one small thing. I will never get any older. so lots of Idiots are after me for the secret of youth. Which, I'd like to point out, is not fun. and wait, it gets better. due to this unique attribute I was granted other, ehem... abilities. so I did one little job for the government, just one little job, and all hell breaks lose. I mean I knew that assassinating a drug lord would have consequences but nothing like this. you see in doing this small job, I had reveled my existence. so now all the mis. crime lords, drug dealers mad scientists ect. ect. desire my capture. and on top of that, all the petty crooks want me for hostage value.

Nice. fortunately being a world class assassin has allowed me to evade their grasp. nothing to be proud of.

well, you cant live for ever have an exciting life and well, live. but every thing is about to change. on this particular day I was sleeping in my high security top notch, well decorated room(ok, ok its a cardboard box in an underground tunnel. but it's better than park benches.)I survive for the glorious day when I would get my drivers license. when I woke up. then I went to my back pack and got breakfast, which consisted of two slices of bread and a can of espresso. I my be homeless, but that little job I did paid sixty thousand. thirty thousand slices of bread, and thirty _one _thousand cans of espresso(I found a dollar. for some odd reason, that was the only thing I ever ate. I hate both.) what a great future. anyway, today was special. all though I could not remember, it was my birthday. But, since I would never get any older, this was totally irrelevant. I decided to go to the train station and look for a new location. I do this one in a while, I go to the train station and think about moving. I never have. but today, I thought of something. What if I went to Florida for the Winter. it was sheer brilliance! It doesn't snow in Florida. so, I got on the train and prepared for a long boring trip. little did I know, the military had learned of my existence. and if I had known I probably wouldn't have cared. which of course, is also totally irrelevant. when I get to Florida, I am promptly abducted. and I thought that kind of stuff only happened in California. (notice that this never happens to people with drivers license, speaking of which I can't wait to get!) I bet you can guess what happens next, I'm brought before the bad guys in chains,( well, not really, I'm not _that _strong.) they say something macho, I say something smart, he hits me, I swear, he laughs, I glare bla bla bla, oh, and I'm also supposed to be surprised at being in a government facility. this paragraph sucks. next. This kind of thing happens a lot. but, this was different! they had kidnapped me on my _birthday! _ the one a year, special time when you celebrate. and this was bad. because, on my b-day, odd things happen. bla bla bla. when I was informed of the day, I was speechless with fury. this meant that _ I would not get my birthday cake! ( well ok, I didn't know it was my birthday, but that's how I would have felt if I had.) _hear, I turn red and say something mean, and the guard turns red and says something, along the lines of, you will be dead when he gets here, bla, bla, bla, bla. I'm not very good at telling stories, am I? well, I got out. sort of, actually I made it out of the detention area. kinda, see in doing so I set off three alarms broke two doors, tripped seven pressure pads, tripped over all the trip wires, and got re-caught . (and you thought high school was tuff. )but I got something very important from all this, a skinned knee, a blackish bruise on my face, and varying degrees of burns.( trust me, you don't want to know.)my next three attempts floopted , my spell check is telling me that "floopted isn't a word. well, live with it. it's the only way to describe them. anywho, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, number four worked!( and I

probably gave four concussions to that idiot guarding me.) so I get out, and I found out I'm in Paris, France, and a nice lady walks up and tells me that I'd make a perfect fashion model, gives me a million dollars, then I have a fabulous career and just when I think life can't get any better, a huge crowd of reporters show up trying to take pictures of brad pit, who then walks up to me and we make out while the reporter "awww" and sigh like were the perfect couple. Ha! I f you just fell for that and your out of kindergarten, I wana know how you passed.( for the record, I _hate_ brad pit.)no, I actually got attacked by ninjas. I won the fight, and hopped on a train to Chicago. when I get home, I get mugged by some stupid teenagers cause I was to tired to fight very well. o.k. now your probably wanting to know how I became "immortal" . well, so am I. It has something to do with the 1960's and the hippies. and a talking teddy bear from mars, seriously truth is stranger than comic books. So now you want to know about the teddy bear. Well, it was big and brown. And it was from mars. And it talked. And it was soooo cute! I mean, it was soft and cuddly, and it had big death blasters _and_ laser cannons, and it doesn't actually have any thing to do with this story. The hippies were protesting nuclear energy and swearing and I was there yelling and swearing with the best of them. Some idiot spilled chemicals. I was on meds so it affected me differently then all the others. ( they all died of cancer.)so now you know. Any who, when I tried to go home, I found that my box had been stolen. A perfect climax to a lovely recap. Well, now I had to find a new

Box. But not to night. So stretched out on a bench and went to sleep. When I got up, I went house hunting.

I found the perfect box, it was bigger than me. So I hid it and decorated it, and stole some blankets.

Yay. Now I had a new home. Having nothing better to do, I went to sleep. What happens next is so shocking so horrible so catastrophic, It almost seemed, I mean, seriously, it was probably the most terrifying experience ever. A rat ran over my face. But, like the sensible person I am, I fainted. You know, if I had my drivers license, this wouldn't happen. I would get a car and live in that. Oh well. The next day I went to the lake and sat there for about six hours. And then I went back to town and sat on a bench for three hours.

And then I went and munched on a piece of bread. And then I sat in a deserted drive throe movie. ( the theater had been scheduled for demolition for three months, nothing had been in that theater since 82.) then I went to my box, and fell asleep. I'm a master of wasting time. That day I had met my goal. I had accomplished nothing. Hooray. The next day I went to the store and got a job. For the firs time since 1973. Wow. I hate my job. I sweep the floors. And some times, I get coffee breaks. The next day, I got kidnapped again. Sorta, it was more like a accident. Well, see there was this kid, and he was running from norr, he is a jerk, so I helped him. And then norr nabs both of us. So now he's going to sell me to the government.

And I thought he wanted to be my friend. So now we are stuck. This kid's name is…………….. He doesn't

Have one. So I'm going to name him brownie, after my old teddy bear. Well now, I could be a proper fairy tail adventurer, all I need is loyal little dog. Norr is a big burglar who is actual a bounty hunter, but insists that every one call him a burglar. Cause he's weird. Brownie said that he always wanted to be a burglar.

Weird. So norr turns out to be the dumbest Crooke ever. I mean, he got kicked out of privet school for making photo copies of his face. He wouldn't have gotten caught if he hadn't left the picture on top of the printer. But still, he did get a degree in mad science. Well now that the meet and greet is over, maybe I can get back to my story. I had to think of an escape plan. What I came up with was that I could pick the lock, and leave thought the window. Well with the help of brownie, it worked. So I didn't get sold to the government. But I did get a new friend. Yay. I hate friends. Well I bet you want to know what happens next, don't you? Well, go take a coffee brake. I've been typing for ten minutes, and I'm tired! Just wait for the next chapter. Witch I will probably never write………………………………...


End file.
